lick my lips look out the window and open up the sky

a whirlwind of thoughts and touch breath and simplicity

and confusity and luscious warm strings of my heart. I have finally found a place I can call home at least for a little while and a family who I feel so deeply connected to. I live in a gypsy caravan ornate with scarves and drawings and photos and pillows with leaves

AND a possum who likes to hop about on top my roof and scratch at my slightly open fan.

I have a long dreamy park right outside my door where I can run around in and kitten catten named nanak with white paws like he just dipped them in some fresh frothing milk straight from mataji herself. Im more being songs than i am writing them and so so so excited for my travels head. Im planning on francing it and living in cote d'azur where nectar is ambrosia and lavender runs wild through the hair of silken children and long afternoons are spent smoking cigars, laughing and crossing our feet to the moons waning and waxing adoration of a hard days work

all is a chuckle and swirl. scents are extracted and exported across the world to be worn by a desert princess in rajasthan... her mirrored shawl glistens the eyes of kajal'd dark haired girls and mysterious turbaned men clap their hands to her grazing feet dancing drunk in the night.... a small californian girl sitting in topanga on her mother's wooden chest in front of the chipping vintage armoire ... the gay boys in the castro frolic with delight at l'occitane teasing and flirting with long sleek lashes lucid dreaming of the glowing engorged canopy bed.

and I cant wait to be a spark and part of this beautiful process of life

to savour the delicious delights and wonderment of all that this existence offers

its not a dream

and there is no duality

i dream my dream and i live my dream

my heart is racing and Ill never fall asleep like this but im so excited

hugs and kisses and goodnight sandman, rabbit in the moon

ill wink at you in daylight!

Making Love

making music babies today with delicious milo and nikita and jolly merrymakers in a tent in venice where canals run softly through streets of sunray homes.
made a new song today after spending a few hours on the beach dreaming and sleeping and basking. then i got a sudden interest in fairies and went into the mystic journey bookstore on abbot kinney and looked at all the fairy books and lovely drawings and also some photography books on Provence and how they collect lavender and process for making perfumes and essential oils. such a yummy homey sleepy and not so sleepy nonsensical simple day with a slow beating heart and much inspiration, hope and devotion to the present and to myself and to the trees and my feet and your face, the face of the divine, and the whispers of wisdom in the breeze.

drifter drifts,melts and realizes

So  I finally graduated from Laughing Lotus and mere papaji came and fell in love with San francisco all over again as I do everyday. after not picking up the violin for about 4 months i opened my arms and let it slide in anyways. the entire world spread it's legs when  i sang and my fingers danced that first back reunited with all things. the trees, the bees, my own essence. This wild energy had been slithering around dormant but waiting ready to spring forth and it did so about 2 months ago. Im currently living in the most beautiful apartment in my entire life with 2 gorgeous radiant souls ( mama crow and yaqueline deyabu from cuba) both musicians and together we just played at the raw spirit fest in santa barbara and the Harmony festival in Santa Rosa and the stork club in Oakland where we live now. the shows werent anything crazy or extravagant but we touched hearts and eyes sparkled. THERE ARE BRANCHES HANGING FROM OUR CEILING and antique christmas lights ( the large ones) drifting everywhere. Its the warmest sweetest hearth to come back to and curl up all together! since ive lived here ive been making good money busking at the bart stations ( primarily 16th and 24th street in San francisco). but the story i really want to tell is of my last 2 weeks of indescribable tripping, journeying, and of Love

so tadeedadeeedaaa

as the wind moves through leaves and  the bird's feathers and travels through children's glistening hair in the sun so does my soul all our souls on this earth 

open your eyes

open your arms

free your mind 

and open wide your heart

everything has been serendipitous

I had been asked a few months ago to vend with P-kok (a natural fibers clothing store mostly importing clothes from Thailand )( the lady pat is the sweetest funniest and warm little thai chicklet) at the Harmony festival which i wanted to go to so bad because CAKE and Matisyahu were playing. I ended up getting a job at a running store that was hiring me mainly because they really needed someone for the weekend of the harmony festival so i took the job and called pat to tell her i couldnt work for her. later after moving in with mama crow and yaqui i found out we all had a spot for a little show so i called pat and asked  for the vending opportunity back ( to get into the festival for free and make some cash). somehow she still had a place for me and i went . I played a 12 hour straight jam session with a beautiful soul who i ended up having a really deep connection with. He lives in LA and i was going to be going to LA the thursday after the festival anyways so of course i went and visited him and as wind will have it , and the stirring s of curiosity and mystery i fell in love with all 

the sun, the sky, the stars and the delicious people there.

for the last couple of months, the radical restless person that I am, I've been fantasizing about becoming an ascetic and giving all my belonging s away and moving up north away from civilization and live in the wilderness or maybe just in a small remote village, moving back home to India, or moving down south to continue and grow musically and professionally and Love-ally.

he is selflessly kind and spread the curtains and opened the windows for me 

all possibilities lay in front of me constantly and i feel in my heart as always i know where i came from where i am and where im going, will go, and transform lives on an epic level 

becuase even something anything 

a pull on the heart from a melody like strings

a yearning 

that feeling of nostalgia which we dont understand often 

what ARE we longing for ??

the union with divine essentially 

to feel intertwined. in an embrace, in the womb of the mother in this world of 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows

REAL 

is all i want to feel and to make others feel 

ALIVE WHOLE and AWAKE

bright eyed and breathing 

We Share This Earth All Together This Moment

sharing a breath 

eternal Breaths

LOVE

jah!

so this is funny 

im the worst with commitments but i think im loosing all my memories so it might be good to write them down somewhere i wont loose them or they wont get lost in the poems or people's phone numbers.

san bruno is so beautiful but i walked like 2 1/2 miles to get to the train today and then found out i wouldnt be getting my check for a nother couple of days at aveda because of the adress change so i have i think 2 dollars and 50 cents?

anyways i cut my foot on the way back tonight and couldnt walk home becuase it was bleeding so i sat for about an hour at the bus stop but because it was after 12 no bus came.

i got a taxi and the guy said it'd be like 6 bucks to get to a street near the place im staying and i said i could only give him 50 cents

i got in and then he took me to the doorstep of my place and refused to let me pay him anything

gave me his card and told me his name was angel

woah

san francisco my love

In the himalayas, through the blissfully weeping clouds and mist, contemplating langours, and dewy branches that extend from ancient trees, yearning to unite the vast and wild sky with the earth, there is a school called woodstock. cut off from the rest of the world in a remote and dreamy land, the students dance through their lives like noone's watching,  they dream dreams lying out on days the sun, so close, kisses their lashes and lips and fingertips, and play somber tunes on their violins in the monsoon, and read mythology and ancient tales of forest creatures high up in the trees, cloaked in greenery.

a little-y long story of what happened and how a trip turns into a dream into a longer tripped out dreamy and also not so dreamy reality...

i was born here in mussoorie and went to woodstock in 11th grade. i went through some of my greatest challenges here and made some of the strongest bonds with people i ever have. there is something about the intensity of living in the mountains and the need for survival, and simply boarding  school that unites individuals, creating friendships that last lifetimes. one such friend was from california and on my graduation day back in pennsylvania i made the trip out to see her and stay for about 2 weeks. On the second day  a thought fell into my mind. 

what would happen if i just never went back?

and from there my journey took me to santa cruz where i lived for two months. one on Gita's couch in her beautiful sun filled cottage with hammocks and a little outdoor shower in the back , and one in another delightful little house on pacheco ave with palm trees and a strawberry icing ginger bread house right next door.i worked at bad ass coffee for the 2 months and then got fired by the little polish lady manager because i made drinks one at a time and couldnt figure out how i'd ever be capable of multi- tasking. santa cruz is absolutely gorgeous. you can be climbing the redwoods or a special redwood named gnarls barkley  in the morning, and fall asleep in the hot sand at night and if your willing to risk it jump into the pacific ocean which is crazy freezing. its a sleepy town with the best farmer's markets with little drum circles near the trees and some amazing ganja and ganja friends. I moved to san francisco in september and lived with gita's sister for about 2 weeks and got a job at a little homemade all imported from Italy shop called PastaGina and worked there for about 4 months until i realized they didnt even make their own Pesto and was ready to look for a happier and cleaner job. I lived with another friend for about a  month  in an entirely lesbian house, and another month with a friend from Pennsylvania's friend where i worked at an exotic burning man clothing shop in the lower Haight for the most adorable tiny Thai lady named pat and then at totally hipster shop called Villains in the upper Haight. Then I moved in with another friend from woodstock, Puma, and her friend from art school for 6 months on Dolores of Dolores park. I started a yoga teacher training program at Laughing Lotus yoga center in February and once my lease was up lived with some friends from the yoga program on Sanchez st. and am now staying with some other friends from the yoga program in San Bruno.

and from here ill start tommorrow 

shanti shanti shanti and loves